


7 Birthdays and a Wedding

by Bendy_CA, xslytherclawx



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Birthday, Closure, F/M, Family Bonding, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-09 08:41:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20850620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bendy_CA/pseuds/Bendy_CA, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xslytherclawx/pseuds/xslytherclawx
Summary: October 1st, 2019. Six months after time-traveling shenanigans and world-saving, the Hargeeves family is back together, and for the first time in years, celebrating their birthday together.For their 30th, the siblings take to celebrating their birthday different this year. After years of one shared birthday, the siblings decide to help give each other their very own birthday moment, to do whatever they desire.Whether it involves a wedding, seeing the ocean, or even arson, the family is determined to make it happen and give each of their birthdays the best they've ever had.





	1. Dave

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a fun chat on a TUA Discord, which snowballed into a fic. This will get very weird, but it will be fun, entertaining, and funny!
> 
> Enjoy!  
~Bendy_CA

October 1st, 2019. A day that had meant absolutely nothing to Dave fifty years ago. The once far off blip in the distance future was now everything to Dave Katz.

It wasn't only Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. It wasn't just the six month anniversary an apocalypse that spanned across multiple timelines, that was successfully stopped in this particular timeline.

It also happened to be the seven Hargreeves siblings' 30th birthday. And, if everything goes as planned, it would be Dave and Klaus' wedding day.

This birthday was going to be a special one for the Hargreeves family. And not just because Dave and Klaus were getting married.

They had come up with a fun idea. After a childhood of sharing birthdays, the siblings decided would each get their own special birthday. All of them would get their own “birthday” today, and have their own time to do whatever they wanted with their siblings. They would start with Luther’s birthday, then Five’s, which he said would be “unforgettable”, then Allison’s birthday with her daughter, then Ben’s birthday at the beach, then the Hargreeves-Katz wedding (Klaus' birthday), then they would do whatever Diego's activity was, and finally Vanya’s birthday, a nice family dinner. After that, they’d finish off the night with cake and presents.

But, the Hargreeves siblings started their celebration a night early, with a slumber party.

After they planned the day, Klaus had decided it was imperative that all his siblings would have a sleepover the night before their birthday. Dave wasn't sure everyone would fit sleeping in their apartment living room, but Klaus determined it would happen. He was persistent that he needed a fun "birth-eve" with his brothers and sisters.

Shockingly, everyone agreed to the idea. They seemed reluctant when they first came over, but after a few drinks, the six seemed to love the sleepover as much as Klaus did.

The adult brothers and sisters spent their Monday night in pajamas, watching movies, playing board games, painting nails, playing truth or dare, having a dance party, and doing anything else they didn't have during their childhood.

Dave didn't know his future in-laws that well, but he knew they weren't like this when he first met him. It seemed that family therapy had helped them open up with each other. The alcohol tonight probably helped loosen up too.

The "birth-eve" was filled with laughter, delighted shrieks, and playful banter. Dave could have sworn they sounded twenty years younger at times.

Dave hung back from the party. He let Klaus and his siblings be together for a night. They needed a night together that didn't have anything to do with them saving the world, trying to kill each other, or therapy. 

He wasn't alone though. Diego brought Grace along with him. Grace spent the night with him, and helped him out with the food, and kept him company. He had fun with her, making sure the brother and sisters had plenty of food, snacks, sweets, and alcoholic drinks (and non-alcoholic, for Klaus).

It was nice to spend time with Grace, making food and drinks for their family. Dave had been meaning to get to know his future adoptive robot mother-in-law.  
  
Dave never questioned the concept of Grave being a humanoid robot. It didn't matter if she was an android. She was a good mother and a nice woman, and Dave would treat her as such.

Somewhere between bleeding out in Vietnam and being brought back to life with Ben, he had given up questioning the insanity that surrounded his life. Robot mothers weren’t a big deal when you'd been thrown fifty years into the future.

Trying to find logic in this strange, strange world wasn't worth the headache. Dave didn't need an explanation for the ex-superheroes, the powers, the apocalypse, or the time travel.

And now, Dave didn’t need an explanation for the giant pile in his living room, made up of the Hargreeves siblings, pillows, and blankets on the floor, sleeping and snoring. And it was pretty adorable.

Luther seemed to be the group's bed, as everyone laid around or on him, tangled up in their blankets. Vanya's head rested on Luther's shoulder. She was holding onto Five, who was holding onto his… wife? Friend? Mannequin? Whatever Dolores was to Five. Diego, meanwhile, ended up cuddled between Allison and Ben, and the three of them seemed to be using Luther's long arm as their pillow. And lovely Klaus was sprawled across the top of his six siblings, using Luther's belly instead of his real pillow.

Dave bent down and kissed his sleeping beauty's forehead. Klaus gave no response, and just continued snoring and drooling on Luther's shirt.

He fell a bit deeper in love. That was his fiancé.

"It’s so nice, isn't it?" said Grace, who had been preparing coffee in the kitchen. He stood up and joined her by the counter, and she handed him a fresh coffee, “It didn't seem right to wake them just yet.” 

Dave thanked her, taking the mug.

Grace smiled at him, then looked happily at the sleeping seven, “It's nice to see them like this; being a family again." 

"Yeah,” he chuckled, taking a sip of his drink, “They look like little kids. Did they ever do this when they were young?”

Her smile faded a bit at the question, "Not like this. Mr. Hargreeves wouldn't have allowed it."

“Do you miss them?”

“Hmm?”

“Mr. Hargreeves, and Mr. Pogo." He never met either of them, because they had died before he came back. But he knew, for better or worse, they affected their family, and maybe even Grace.

“I..." she started. She seemed to be processing his question, "Their absence is noticed, every day. Nothing is like it was. But life goes on. It changes, doesn't it?”

He nodded at that and thought over the last six months. He was suddenly alive, in the future. Suddenly he met a bunch of new people, discovering new things, living an old mansion that wasn't “destroyed this time”, then they all moved out, Dave got a place with Klaus, they’d gotten engaged, and they were getting married today.

“I'll wake everyone,” he told Grace. She smiled and continued preparing the coffee. He left the kitchen and went back to the living room pile.

“Guys?” he called to them, softly. He didn't want to startle them, but it didn't wake them. Vanya stirred a bit, Diego cuddled closer into Ben. Five muttered something incoherent, hugging Dolores closer to his body. Klaus continued drooling. Allison and Luther’s sleep wasn't disturbed.

"Guys?" he repeated, a bit louder. That did the trick, Klaus woke up, whose movements on top of his siblings woke the rest of the seven.  
  
“Happy thirtieth,” Dave greeted, after a few minutes of watching the Hargreeves shout, yelp, and try to detangle themselves from each other

“Klaus and I aren't thirty," muttered a groggy Five, who had already teleported to the kitchen and back, to get a coffee.  
  
“Happy new year," said Klaus. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, then leaned against Dave and hugged him. 

“I already went to shul, Klaus”

“But it’s still the new year, though,” Klaus said as he nuzzled Dave’s neck.

Dave kissed the top of his head, “It’s been Rosh Hashanah for like thirty-six hours.”

"Is it New Year's already?" Luther asked, who hadn't moved from his position on the floor, too comfortable to get up.

"Yeah, genius, we slept till January,” grumbled Diego, as he stretched and scratched himself. Vanya rolled her eyes at her brothers, as she removed her earplugs. Ben helped Allison up.

“Rosh Hashanah,” Dave told Luther. He nodded at that, though Dave was pretty sure he didn't know what that was.

“What's for breakfast?” Ben asked. Dave watched him go over, and lightly kicked Luther. Luther refused to budge.

“Cereal,” he said, and watched as Five and Diego joined Ben on the gentle assault of their brother. Luther tried swatting them away but eventually gave up.

“What kinds of cereal do you have?” Vanya asked as she joined in on the kicks. Klaus stayed in his arms, enjoying the entertainment. Dave didn't know if Luther could get up now, being surrounded.

“We should have breakfast,” Allison said, in an attempt to stop her brothers and sister. “Then we should all get ready to go.”

Eventually, they let Luther up and enjoyed a nice breakfast of cold cereal and coffee. Though Diego multiple times complained that this breakfast was “terrible” for the most important meal of the day. Everyone tried ignoring him, but he eventually shut up when mom made him some eggs.

After that, the siblings headed to separate areas, to get dressed. Dave and Klaus went dressed in their bedroom, getting a moment together.

“Ready for today?” Klaus asked. He practically bounced in excitement as he put on his shirt. Dave loved seeing him like this, all giddy and filled with energy.

“Hell yeah,” Dave told him, putting on socks, “It’s your birthday and we’re getting married today. I don’t know what could make this better.”

Klaus raised an eyebrow, giving Dave a sexy stare, “We could have sex?”

Dave stared at Klaus, who just shrugged, “What? It would make my day better.”

Dave sat on the idea for a moment. The others would probably notice if it took them for more than fifteen minutes to just put on clothing. As appealing as the idea was, they probably shouldn’t.

“We don’t have much time,” Klaus looked a little disappointed at that, and Dave quickly offered a solution, “But we could make out now and fuck later?”

“Fine,” Klaus groaned. 

Six minutes of kissing (and then some) later, Klaus and his siblings finished getting ready. Dave watched all seven crowd into the tiny bathroom, all getting ready together. It almost looked like a clown car, the way they were all crammed in there. 

Vanya was brushing her hair, Luther was brushing his teeth, Ben and Five were styling their hair up with gel, Diego was flossing, and Klaus and Allison were putting on makeup.

They looked like a family. He hadn't known his future in-laws that long. But Klaus loved them, and so did Dave now. 

Eventually, the siblings begin to head. Ben, then Vanya, Five with Dolores in his bag, Diego took Grace with him, and Allison after them.

Luther was the last to leave.

“You guys coming?” he asked.

“We’ll be there in a bit. Wait for us downstairs.” Klaus told him, and then Luther was out the door. It was just Dave and Klaus again. Klaus flopped onto the couch, and Dave sat down next to him. Dave didn’t think they had any particular reason to still be in the apartment.

“Klaus, should we be making them wait?”

“Probably not.”

“Why exactly are we still up here?”

A sly smile crept on his face, “It's later. Wanna have sex now?”

“Horndog!” Dave accused, which only made Klaus cackle.

“That doesn’t answer my question, babe.”

“Yes, please,” and with that, Klaus leaped into Dave’s lap, and the two of them started to make out again.


	2. Luther

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Luther's birthday first, and he has an... interesting plan on how to celebrate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to take a day to write. It took eight.
> 
> And it's probably the weirdest thing I've written. Go to chapter endnotes if you'd like a warning.

Everyone was waiting. Klaus and Dave seemed to have decided to take their sweet time coming downstairs, leaving the rest of their family to sit and wait. While everyone stood around the apartment lobby, patiently waiting, Luther paced around the room instead.

Everyone also looked bored. Allison leaned against the wall, arms crossed, Vanya stood next to her picking at a scab on her hand. Diego was brooding on the other side of the room, Mom seemed happy to be next to him. Five sat on the floor with Dolores, who he had taken out of his bag. Ben was by the entrance, reading the book he always had on him. Everyone kept quiet, to themselves. And Luther kept pacing.

Diego watched him for a long time before finally asking, “Why are you doing that?”

“I’m just getting some energy out,” he said, without stopping.

“Why? Can’t wait for your birthday?” Diego always sounded so snide when speaking to Luther.

“Sure,” he replied and hoped that was the end of it. As soon as they left the building, it would be Luther’s birthday. Luther wanted to feel impatient or excited about his birthday activity. Instead, he felt nothing but anxiety. What he wanted to do for his birthday, it wasn’t exactly appropriate. He hadn't yet told his siblings what they were doing for his birthday activity. He wasn’t sure how they would feel.

For his birthday, Luther was going to piss on their father's grave. After everything their dad had done to him, to their family, Luther was going to give Sir Reginald Hargreeves what he deserved. 

“What are we doing for your birthday anyway, Luther?” Allison asked him. 

Luther stopped pacing at that. Dread filled the pit of his stomach. Everyone would be watching him. They had all tolerated a lot of weird stuff over the years, but even the Hargreeves had their limits. He wasn’t even sure he could do this with his family, the people he loved most in the world, judging him.

Vanya looked up at him, concerned, “Luther, are you okay?” 

“I—” Suddenly the elevator dinged, opened and, Klaus and Dave came out. Klaus’ hair and clothes were all messed up, and Dave seemed to be on cloud nine. After one look at them, Luther decided he wouldn't ask them what they'd been doing.

"Whassup, everybody?" Klaus said, acting casual, “You guys ready to go yet?”

“We’ve been ready to go for twenty minutes,” said Five, very annoyed. He gently put Dolores back in the bag. Ben glared at the duo. 

“Well, lead the way, número uno!” Klaus declared, and they left.

“We can walk there, just follow me,” he said, and they went on their way.

The October air was crisp and cool. Even with all his layers, Luther was still cold. They were technically within walking distance of the mansion, but it was going to be a while before they got to the property.

“Where are we going?” Diego asked, on his right.

“Uh… the mansion,” he muttered. He heard a collective groan behind him.

“Why?” Klaus asked with a pout. Luther really hoped he wouldn’t have to explain himself just yet.

“Does it matter?” Five said, “It’s his birthday; Luther can take us there if he wants.”

“Thank you,” he called back to Five. They continued walking, but Klaus, as usual, became distracted.

"Hey, a distraction!" Klaus yelled. Luther turned to his brother, who was pointing ahead to the record store. 

Luther knew that store well. He had spent years over there, buying records to add to his collection. The last time he had been in that store was years ago, long before the accident.

“It’s still open after all this time?” Ben asked. Luther paused in front of the store, and everyone followed suit.

“I guess,” Klaus shrugged, “Let’s go in. I need something in here.”

“Klaus…” Vanya warned, “It’s Luther’s birthday. We should do what he wants.”

Klaus looked a bit sheepish, and Dave squeezed his hand in comfort. It seemed everyone was ready to keep going, and Luther should have been too. But it seemed now that it was his birthday, he almost wanted to delay his activity. It’s not that he didn’t want to piss on his father’s ashes, but he was embarrassed as hell that it was going to happen. He could either get it over with or stall for a while.

“I don’t mind,” he told everyone, deciding to stall their journey. “It’s been a while since I’ve been here. We can go in for a second.”

With Luther’s approval, Klaus dashed inside, dragging Dave behind him. Luther held the door open for the rest of his family before he too went inside.

The store had changed a lot. There seemed to be recent remodeling done, the displays were set up differently and had a new layer of paint, the cashier’s desk had been moved to the front of the store. He was a little disappointed he didn’t even know the woman at the desk. He used to know everyone who worked here. Despite that, it still felt familiar to him. This was still the same store he spent many afternoons in.

He browsed for a while. He hadn’t seen anything he could add to his collection. But Mom seemed to enjoy looking around the store with Diego and Ben. Klaus and Dave did what they normally did—be in love in that way that was a little cute, a little disgusting, and made Luther the tiniest bit jealous. Meanwhile, Vanya was talking with a woman Luther had never met, while Allison and Five spied in the distance. Weird.

Luther went back to browsing. He was standing near the front desk, holding Diana Ross album when he noticed the cashier was staring at him. He suddenly felt so self-conscious. He hated when people looked at him like that. As if he didn’t know he was a freak, he didn’t need the world around him reminding him. (He should probably discuss these feelings with his therapist later).

The woman behind the counter kept staring at him, and Luther stared back.

“I-I know,” he said to her, “I’m… big.” he cringed as he said that.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” the cashier. She gave him a little smirk, and Luther’s face felt hot at that. “Are you an Olympic bodybuilder or something?”

“Not that I know of,” Luther said. He didn’t feel like explaining his situation, especially to a new person.

“I recognize you from something. Were you on TV?”

“Sometimes,” he said, “I'm uh... I was Spaceboy?” 

She looked confused.

“The Umbrella Academy,” he clarified, and that seemed to click for her.

“Oh! Yeah, I think remember you! The teens with the powers. You were like the main one, right?” he nodded, and she looked around the rest of the store, “Is that the rest of you?”

He looked to his family across the room. They all were all crowded around Vanya and that mystery woman. He laughed, “Yeah, that’s my family.”

“Cool.”

He turned back to the cashier. He looked at her carefully this time. She was short, as short as Vanya. Her hair, dark and curly, was cropped just below her ears. She had beautiful dark eyes, a clever smile, and the cutest freckles. Her name tag said “Ashley,” and Luther pretty sure she was the prettiest person he had ever seen. She kept smiling at him, and Luther felt almost uncomfortable.

She glanced at him, and down at his body, and his ears suddenly felt hot. He shouldn't think anything of this. It was just a pleasant conversation, and she was just being nice. No one could actually like him.

“So…” Ashley started, leaning against the desk, “Your name…?”

“Luther.”

“Luther,” she echoed, “Yeah, I remember you guys. You were the strong one?”

“I’m still strong,” Luther said, and silently cursed his father not letting him develop socially like a normal person. He was thirty now, and he couldn't even properly interact with a woman. She didn't seem to mind, though.

“You got big over the years, huh?” she said, looking over him again, “I don’t remember any of you being this huge.”

Did she sound almost interested in that? What was that all about?

“Yes,” he cleared his throat. “I don't like to talk about it much if you don’t mind”

“Oh?” she cocked her head at that. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

Luther glanced down at his feet. She was probably only interested in him because of what she thought his body was. She probably thought he was sexy, hairless, beautiful underneath. There was no way she could know what he really looked like.

(_Not a monster _ , he told himself later, _ you are not a monster._)

“I also don’t remember your face being that cute.”

Something fluttered in the pit of Luther’s stomach, and he suddenly couldn’t stop grinning. A woman called him cute. Ashley thought he was cute. He was so giddy, Luther couldn’t stop himself when he blurted out, “Are you flirting with me, or are you just being nice?”

She laughed at that question, “You’re bad at this, huh?”

“Sorry. I’ve been… kind of a loner for a while.”

“Yes, I am flirting with you. This the first time I’m actually flirting with a customer,” she put her hands on her face, “Honestly, I’m terrible at this too.”

“It’s okay,” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact with her, “I like you flirting with me.”

Ashley seemed happy with his response. “Look,” she said, “you seem kind of awkward. But you seem dorky in a sweet way, I like people taller than me, and you’re super fucking cute.”

His face felt hot. He liked her complimenting him.

“The rest of me isn't that cute, though,” he told her, “Not like you. I have some... issues.”

“If you don't mind, I'd like to find that out for myself,” she grinned, “Look, I like you, and I want to get to know you better.”

“I’d like to get to know you too”

“Here,” she said, and before he knew it, she’d quickly grabbed a pen and a scrap of paper, scrawled something down, and handed it to Luther. “I usually get home around seven.”

Her phone number. She gave him her number, with a heart and her name, written in cursive. He had a girl’s phone number. The first one he’d ever been given.

He let out a flustered, “I'll call you” before leaving the store.

Eventually, he calmed down outside, and the rest of his siblings came out, and they were back on track. 

"Luther! Vanya's got a cute, mean girlfriend,” declared Klaus, as he swung around his bag of purchases.

"I do not!” she yelled, and Luther could feel her blushing from behind him.

“Admit it, Vanya,” Ben teased, “Helen what’s-her-face is in love with you.”

“I thought it was Helga,” Dave said.

Vanya explained to Luther, “Helen Cho’s a woman in my orchestra. She’s first chair violin. She didn't even like me up until I replaced our second chair.”

“Well, Vanya, she’s into you now,” Diego added.

"She was flirting with you,” Five said.

"It didn't sound like it."

“She asked you to coffee next week, Vanya!” Allison exclaimed, practically jumping for joy.

“That’s really great,” he said, and they shared a smile. He wanted to hug her, but he knew they weren't there yet. They wouldn't be for a long time. 

He never wanted to hurt her like that again. If he had known what that cell would do to her. If he hadn't trusted their father. If he hadn’t seen her just as a danger at the time... and… it was the past. They had to move on. He patted her head instead.

“I, uhh… I met someone too,” he mentioned, trying not to steal Vanya’s spotlight. “The cashier. She and I were talking. A lot.”

“Really?” Dave said, intrigued.

“I got her number,” he said, “The woman working there. She gave me her number. Said my face was cute.”

He looked at Allison, desperate for her approval. He wasn’t sure he should go out with someone without his best friend's approval.

“That’s great, Luther,” she said. She looked so excited, she was practically bouncing on her heels, “Ooh, we should get Ben a date too!”

“We should!” Mom agreed.

Klaus gasped, and excitedly clapped his hands, “Yes! We should help him finally get laid.”

“Klaus,” Dave said, rolling his eyes.

“I’m not taking any love advice from you people,” Ben said, and that led to a good laugh.

And, suddenly, they were there. They were all home. The Umbrella Academy.

Home. Luther hadn't thought of it as a home in so long. On the moon, he’d longed to be back here. He could only think of those brief moments of happiness with his siblings and his father. Not the years of training, loneliness, and abuse

Now, Luther felt little attachment to this place anymore. The mansion, the academy, it wasn't really a home, even when they were all there.

Luther opened the door, and everyone went inside. The place felt larger than ever, without all the furniture and their father’s things. The mansion was completely empty; sitting and gathering dust.

Everything had changed in the last six months. After everything with the apocalypse, they were getting all their lives together.

It had started with the mansion. As much as they’d wanted to be together again, none of them wanted to live in the mansion again. They’d all inherited the building, and all agreed to let it go. 

Luther, Ben, Klaus, and Dave had lived here for a brief period. During that time, the sibling gathered up everything in the house, and either kept, sold, or donated. 

Once everything was gone, everyone else had left too. 

Diego had moved Mom into his new place, which he’d bought with the money they’d earned from selling their father’s valuables. Luther loved hearing talk about her new room, where all her paintings now lived. 

Klaus and Dave had found their own apartment, then they got engaged.

Five, with Dolores, had moved into Vanya’s apartment. Though he often stayed with the rest of them too. He seemed to have a hard time staying in once place for too long and didn’t want to be apart from everyone too much. 

Allison still went to her home in Los Angeles, but she’d also gotten an apartment in the city. She tried to spend an equal amount of time in both areas.

Luther had moved into his first home outside of the academy. A real home, with Ben. They’d both wanted to be independent, but neither of them had wanted to be alone. It was a small apartment, but it was theirs. Ben often stayed over at Klaus and Dave’s, for old times sake. Their little apartment had potted plants, shelves filled with Ben’s books, and Luther’s record collection.

Instead of living together, their family was doing therapy together. It was difficult, frustrating and hard. 

Often, Luther would end up reevaluating everything in his life, Allison wasn't able to make it when she was in LA, or Diego would come up with an excuse to not show up. Ben would go silent when they needed his voice of reason, Klaus would slump in his chair, irritated that everyone was “a fucking dick.” Vanya would either shut down or lose some control, leading her to not speak or a window breaking. Five would just refuse to speak due to his constant denial of needing help. 

Many of their sessions turned into screaming matches, or end with someone dramatically storming out, but, somehow, it helped. They made sure to pay their therapist double what she charged. She deserved it.

They had more money than they knew what to do with, anyway. Their inheritance and their father’s valuables had added up to quite a fortune. Allison and Vanya had donated most of theirs, Luther and Diego had given theirs to Five and Ben, who weren't given anything. With Ben dead and Five presumed dead, their father had them taken out of the will. Klaus had kept his, but he didn't waste it all on drugs. And when they sold the Hargreeves property, it would be even more money to donate and figure out what to do with.

The property would go on the market soon, but plans were already being discussed. The building would be torn down, and the area gentrified. Possibilities of a new city center, with stores, restaurants, townhouses, a park (and a rumored Umbrella Academy museum) had Luther pretty excited.

But for now, they still owned the property and could do whatever they want with it. Luther was going to do... this.

He opened the door and everyone followed him through. Walking into the building, gather dust and growing stale, it almost felt wrong. His family followed Luther back outside to the courtyard, and there they were.

Dad’s favorite spot.

The spot where Luther and his father had spent so much time together. Dad had spent years pressuring Luther here, to be a good leader, a hero. Hours spent going over missions, what he’d done wrong and what he could do better, Dad controlling him in the guise of mentoring and advising. Dad would tell Luther how proud he was of him, convincing Luther that he was a leader, not just a follower. 

After everyone else had gone, and they were alone in that house, Dad had stopped spending time with him at this spot. And after the accident, Dad didn't even look at him.

They gathered around, just as they’d done for the funeral, and Luther finally explained himself.

“Okay,” he began, “for my birthday, I wanted to do something important. With everything we’ve been doing, and with our therapy. I’ve come to accept that Dad was wrong for everything he did.”

Everyone listened silently, so he continued.

“He hurt all of us. He was… an abuser and manipulator and a liar. I thought there was a reason for everything he did, he wanted what was best for us, but...” – he took a deep breath, calming his growing rage – “Even if that were true, it didn’t make his actions okay. I was never able to stand up to him when he was alive. I didn’t get to protect you all from him. I’m sorry.”

“Luther…” Vanya said, quietly. 

He continued. “I want to… give Dad what he deserves. So, for my birthday…” – his anxiety grew – “I want to piss on Dad’s grave.”

Everyone stared at him for a very long time. In shock, concern, or horror, Luther couldn’t tell. But no one was telling him what to do.

It was ages until Diego finally spoke up. “_This_ is what you want for your birthday?”

He nodded. That made Ben’s face twist in disgust.

“This is the greatest day of my life,” Klaus said, and Five smacked him on the arm for that.

Allison decided to weigh in on the matter. She held his hand, and told him, “Luther, as your best friend, I love and support you, but I should also tell you that this is weird and gross.”

“I know... but…” He tried to find the words. “I need to do this. After everything he did to me, made me believe. How he hurt me, all of us. He... he abused me. He abused all of us.”

“Do it,” said Diego. Five stared at him in shock.

“What?”

“He _ was _ terrible,” Ben noted, “And it’s not like he doesn't deserve this.”

“This might as well happen,” added Dave, who did not seem to understand what was happening.

“I’ll support this as closure,” said Vanya.

Allison sighed, and squeezed his hand, then she let it go, “All right, it's your birthday. Do what you need to do.”

“Isn’t it better to respect the dead?” asked Grace.

“Fuck the dead,” Klaus declared. Ben coughed at that and Klaus looked to Dave and Ben, and Klaus awkwardly grinned. “Formerly dead excluded?”

“His ghost won't haunt you, right?” Dave asked, and Klaus shrugged.

"I doubt it." Klaus turned to Luther. "Good luck, big guy, make us proud."

Luther stood about where he had dumped Dad’s ashes. Everyone stood around him.

“There's a bathroom if you really need to go to Luther,” Mom said. Of course, she was trying to be helpful, and Diego laughed at that. Luther face felt hot.

"Luther, I should let you know,” Diego said, “I've never been more proud of you than this moment. Now piss on Hargreeves’ ashes.”

He removed his gloves, put them in his pocket, and undid his pants. Everyone looked away.

"Please don't look at my penis, please," he asked of his family.

“None of us were planning on it,” said Five.

He started to piss on the ground. Klaus cheered. Diego started clapping. Mom just looked happy to be there.

“You aren’t dad’s moon bitch anymore,” Klaus said to him, and Luther nearly laughed. He closed his eyes and took in the moment.

He wasn't a leader. He wasn't number one, or even Spaceboy.

He was just Luther. Who now had a life outside of Sir Reginald, being a superhero, and the Moon. This was Luther’s birthday. This was what he wanted to do. 

It felt like closure.

“Fuck Dad!” he told the world, and he felt so happy.

“Our dad's a gender-neutral bathroom!” Klaus screamed, and Dave cheered with that.

“You go, Luther!” called Vanya.

“This is what he gets!” Diego yelled and pumped a fist in the air.

“It’s sad that this isn’t even in the top ten weirdest things that we have done,” Ben commented.

“It's not even in the top thousand, somehow,” said Allison.

“You’re urinating next to me and Dolores. You could get some on her,” Five complained. Dolores was in his bag, behind him, protected, so Luther ignored him.

“I’m not a moon bitch,” Luther said, and he finished. “I’m done now,” he told his family as he zipped up his pants.

Luther was probably too giddy right now. But the fact that Sir Reginald Hargreeves was nothing but scattered ashes, dirt, and piss now… he'd never felt more satisfied in his life.

“Great,” he said, smiling brighter than he ever had before. “What now?”

Five glared at Luther. “Wash your hands.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. That happened. Luther pissed on his father's grave.
> 
> thank you xslytherclawx for editing this oddity.


End file.
